Pruning Relationships for Personal Growth
If you like to garden then you probably understand the importance of pruning your flowering plants. If you don’t know a thing about gardening (much like myself) then you are probably wondering what the heck this term pruning means. Well, pruning is the act of removing parts of a plant that no longer contribute to its growth or could be impeding the plant’s health/development.
Relationships take time & energy
Much like a plant, we as humans have parts of us that can contribute or hinder our personal wellness and growth. One of the most important parts of us that impacts our personal wellness and growth is our relationships. I’m not solely talking romantic relationships either. We have a multitude of different types of relationships that take our energy to maintain which can also include your family and friends. Sure some of these relationships we don’t necessarily choose for ourselves, such as family. But they sure can take up a lot of our time and energy.
Setting healthy boundaries takes courage
Sometimes in order for us to grow and take care of our mental health, we must learn how to build healthy boundaries within the various relationships we have in our life. You might find that throughout your life you may have outgrown some of the people you were connected to. But it’s those long-time relationships that are often the hardest to build healthy boundaries around. It takes both time and courage to be able to identify which people or relationships are worth putting your energy into and which ones are not really serving you.
Which relationships do you nurture and which do you prune?
Setting healthy boundaries is a lot like pruning. We have certain relationships that are contributing to our personal growth into the person we strive to be and we have others that feel more like they are wilting or draining our energy away from positive growth. We obviously want to pour our energy or our metaphorical water into those relationships that are serving us and making us better humans. These are the relationships that usually bring us joy, teach us valuable life lessons, or provide genuine care and love. Which means we should be “pruning” or at least putting less of our energy into the relationships that are not serving us. These are the relationships that usually cause things like negative self-image, discomfort, anger, or isolation.
Boundaries can look different for everyone
Creating boundaries doesn’t always mean you have to cut the relationship off completely. Depending on the relationship, it may just mean limiting the amount of energy you are putting into it, or recognizing a healthy limit or time frame you can spend with that person before it begins to drain you. Not everyone may understand your boundaries either. That’s because they are YOUR personalized boundaries that you create based on your own personal experiences. You shouldn’t have to feel bad about taking care of yourself. Besides, imagine how beautifully you will bloom after a good pruning! If you find yourself struggling with setting healthy boundaries in your life or don’t even know how to start, it may be beneficial to reach out to a therapist to help you learn more about what boundary setting can look like for you.
& Don’t forget to nourish your mind for a better tomorrow!